We all know unwanted moments happen. The question is, do they have to trigger us into some state of anger or frustration? The answer is no, they do not, and we’re about to look at some unique ideas to help you liberate yourself from this painful limitation.
Here’s the first of these liberating facts:
When we feel triggered, our usual response is to blame the triggering agent – such as what that person said or did that made us feel threatened or insulted.
But what we need to realize – before we can free ourselves of these negative reactions – is that no event can trigger us without there already being a “trigger” within us…ready to be pulled! Which means we need to see that the real source of our pain is not due to some outside event; rather, it belongs to an unconscious part of us and what it brings into that moment!
In other words: These events make us aware of a pain that was part of our life before the event occurred, such as a feeling of insecurity that makes us feel threatened so easily. But we don’t want to see that the pain was always already in us, so we hide it by blaming and becoming frustrated with whatever this “trigger-happy” nature sees in its sight.
But, be assured of the following: the more clearly we can see that these triggers – including the still unconscious parts of us so instantly set off by them – are not a part of our true nature – the freer we become.
[Also Read: Meditation For Anger Management]
And part of this freedom includes the realization that our efforts to change others, or any outside condition, do nothing to change the lower level of consciousness that, given the right spark, becomes instantaneously flammable!
With these last few thoughts in mind, please see the following truth: The real reason why we can be so easily triggered in any given moment is we that enter into it full of unconscious beliefs, opinions, expectations, and demands…all of which are inseparable from the equally unconscious images of ourselves that we bring into that moment with us.
As simple as this can be said: it’s our present level of being that is so easily set off by any event, it perceives as a challenge to a world it has imagined.
For example, you wouldn’t get frustrated in traffic if you didn’t believe nothing has the right to slow you down. You wouldn’t get frustrated when the other person points out a mistake you made if you didn’t believe you always must be seen as perfect – or at least smarter than that person who is daring to criticize you.
You must understand, we’re looking at a level of being, and nothing that takes place at that level of being can change that level of being. We try to end our pain by listening to what our pain tells us to do to finish it, blaming the situation instead of seeing our role in creating this painful moment. But there is another way.
[Also Read: Essential Oils for Anger Therapy]
The Path to Freedom From Triggers
So, what can we do?
Begin by seeing that all forms of frustration are futile. If we feel frustrated, we can say: “Wait a minute! This is futile. I can’t stand this situation! I can’t stand that I can’t do this, or they won’t be that. But my frustration is futile.”
Why? Because it belongs to the nature responsible for the perception of the moment to begin with – a nature that doesn’t want to change!
This is so hard to see because it’s circular. We believe the more frustrated we become, the more it proves we don’t want to be frustrated. And we get even more frustrated trying to change events so that we don’t have to feel frustrated.
But why are we frustrated? Because we don’t see the role of our own perception in creating what we experience. And so, no matter how we try to change things outside of us, we experience the same frustration over and over and over again. Understanding this shows us the way out.
[Also Read: Natural Remedies to Cure Anger]
A New Way to Meet the Moment
The next time you find yourself trying to escape the pain of frustration, understand that the only way to succeed is to change the consciousness that is “seeing” the condition you don’t want.
Catch that moment where you feel frustrated and don’t give it your voice or your thoughts. Don’t let it drive your choices. You’ll begin to understand that the reason you haven’t been able to see the path out of the pain is that you’ve been blinded by the frustration that’s been telling you what to do to end it.
Stop listening to the instructions frustration gives you, and suddenly you’ll see a path, another level of self, that was always present and possible. Now you can lay down one order of yourself, and pick up another, all because of what you were willing to see.
Your freedom comes with discovering that an experience cannot be separated from the nature that generates it. You’re always experiencing your own nature without realizing it. When you consciously experience and understand your nature as it is, you can begin to transcend it – and its tendency to be triggered.
About The Author:
Guy Finley is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help author. He is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for transcendent self-study located in Merlin, Oregon.
He also hosts the Foundation’s Wisdom School — an online self-discovery program for seekers of higher self-knowledge. Guy livestreams two free talks a week. Each talk is followed by an open Q&A session. To register visit www.guyfinley.org/online.