Have you ever experienced things that were too great to be right with the individual you’re dating? At the very outset, perhaps they showered you with compliments, attention, and, in general, made you feel as unique as you are. But as soon as you thought cozy settling into what seemed to be your new routine, your partner flipped the script—you, my friend, maybe the inappropriate subject of a love-bomb condition.
A love bomb concerns the form of emotional manipulation in which an individual, mostly a narcissist, “bombs” you with an OTT load of flattery, affection, gifts, and praise early in the relationship to win over your attention to be able to manipulate you. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder typically have such a low sense of security in themselves that they get their self-esteem from external validation, Since they feel so out of control, they try to control others to feel superior about themselves(1).
But it’s hard to notice the early signs of love-bombing since it generally takes place during the portion of a narcissist’s abuse period when things are great. (Remember, narcissists are charming for a while from the outset.)
So below, we outline the love-bomb signs to look for in any relationship because you don’t want your love mixed up in one of these extremely manipulative conditions.
Signs Your Relationship Is Just a String of Love Bombs
1. Your Partner Makes You Feel You Could Do “Better.”
It’s common for your significant other to expect the best from you, but that doesn’t mean finding fault with everything in your life in the name of helping you out. A love-bomber shows what they love about you by placing you on a high pedestal. Still, when they want more of your attention, they’ll block things or people in your life to make you think you deserve more.
It’s all in the form of praise to you. For example, they’ll tell you that your sneakers are all wrong, and they’ll teach you how to shop for them. Their love is based on making themselves the hero of every page of their fairy tale that they are trying to make.
2. They Say What You Want to Hear
A love-bomber does everything in their capacity to get you on their side, including telling you precisely what you want to hear, even if that means bending the truth. This kind of manipulation points to the love-bomber doing anything to control the situation as a way to ensure they’re receiving attention and affection.
3. You Receive Extravagant Gifts—and Know How Much They Cost
Of course, giving gifts isn’t inherently wrong—it’s one of the five love languages, after all. But rather than pampering you just because a love-bomber will make you feel grateful. Love-bombers see gift-giving as an exchange, meaning they give to get. By telling their significant other how much they invest in them, they are quantifying their spending in and value of the individual.
4. Compliments Are on No Short Supply
Compliments are fantastic, but when a narcissist is the one offering them out, they come with a cost. Quid pro quo is the manipulator’s rule. They know that if they always compliment, sooner or later, you’ll feel obligated to compliment back—even if you don’t feel like doing so.
Furthermore, the continuous complimenting puts you at risk of being conditioned by the accolades themselves. You start to become shaped into what they want and what they require, noting that growing this longing for adoration provides the love bomber with the power that may lead to you cut yourself off from other individuals in your life.
5. PDA? A-okay
In addition to the continuous complimenting, a love-bomber will probably shower you with physical and digital affection. Think: Touching you or using warm body language in front of your loved ones and posting romantic-inclined posts on Instagram. They are showing everyone substantial proof that you are entirely into them. This form of love bombing is a gaslighting set up to feel like a dimwit once you try to pull away later you’ve been openly sentimental yourself.
6. Your Companion May Make You Believe You Did Something Terrible(When You Haven’t)
Ah, manipulation. Narcissists who love-bomb use this technique to make you feel confused or guilty. They’ll make you accept that you are responsible for their behaviors or weak boundaries. Since they haven’t developed a powerful sense of self, any uneasy emotions, like fear of not being loved or liked, can feel unbearable. Making this discomfort your liability makes it your responsibility to fix.
7. You’re Expected to Provide the Affection They Want
They always hope to sit beside you, touch you, and see you when they want. And the moment you don’t reply to a text message or mention that you’re too tired to hang out on a given day, they won’t just get mad, but take things to the extreme. [They may] threaten to terminate the relationship, telling you that you don’t value the relationship, or, in severe conditions, threaten harm to you, family, loved ones or even themselves.
8. That Walking-On-Eggshells Feeling Is Natural
This is another sign you’re handling with a first-rate love-bombing narcissist. Perhaps you tried to set personal limits, and your significant other reacted emotionally, leaving you to tread lightly moving further. When the victim eases up on displaying affection to their significant other who is love bombing, the victim gets berated or has to bear with theatrics in some way. They’ll stroll on eggshells because anything else will be ‘punishable.
Being aware of these hints of love-bombing can help you get out of the relationship sooner than later. Well, the heart of the matter is if it feels too great to be true, it probably is.